Late yesterday afternoon it started snowing. They hadn’t predicted snow – I remember a mention of flurries – but maybe they did and I missed it. Well, there at 5:30 PM it started coming down. Big flakes of wet, slushy white stuff. I skipped the meeting that I had planned to attend and went straight home.
It made everything look white and pristine the way newly-fallen snow makes it look. The landscape looked like a winter wonderland.
And then the sadness hit. I wasn’t expecting snow to cause a wave of sadness but there it was. It was white and pretty and beautiful – and I couldn’t share it with Trudie. I was alone and felt very alone. The beauty of it all made me miss a beauty that used to be a big part of my life but is no longer.
So I made a batch of comfort food – spaghetti. It briefly dulled the pain but it’s still there. Oh well.
I can’t seem to stay asleep for more than six hours lately. I go to bed early some nights and then wake and can’t go back to sleep. And then I’m nodding off in meetings. Hopefully I don’t snore. I guess it’s time to start taking my St. John’s Wort again.